Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: A Simple Exercise to Reclaim Your Confidence
Have you ever found yourself questioning your own success? Maybe you’ve thought:
“I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
“I just got lucky.”
“It’s only a matter of time before others find out I’m a fraud.”
If so, you're not alone, and you're not broken.
These thoughts are signs of Imposter Syndrome, also known as Imposter Phenomenon or Imposterism, a common psychological experience where capable, high-achieving individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a fraud. Despite objective evidence of success, they often feel like they don’t belong or haven't earned their place.
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is marked by:
Persistent self-doubt
A belief that your success is due to luck, not skill
Fear of being "found out" or exposed as incompetent
Difficulty internalizing achievements
Studies suggest that around 70% of people experience imposter feelings at some point in their lives. And many highly accomplished people, like Albert Einstein, Maya Angelou, and Michelle Obama have openly shared their own struggles with self-doubt.
While occasional doubt is normal, chronic imposter thoughts can hold you back from growth, promotions, creativity, or pursuing opportunities you deeply care about.
How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome: Try the “Compassionate Letter” Exercise
If you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy, one powerful way to reduce their grip is through self-compassion.
This exercise, adapted from Dr. Jill Stoddard’s book Imposter No More, helps you explore your imposter thoughts and respond to them in a kind, supportive way.
📝 The Compassionate Letter: Step-by-Step
Grab a pen and paper. Begin your letter with:
“Dear [Your Name],”
Then, follow these four steps:
1. Name Your Inner Critic
Write down all the critical or doubting thoughts you’re having in the second person (“you”):
“You don’t deserve this promotion.”
“You’re going to mess this up.”
“Everyone else knows more than you.”
2. Identify Triggers
Jot down when these imposter thoughts started showing up and what may have triggered them:
A recent job change
Starting a new project
Comparing yourself to a predecessor or colleague
Receiving constructive feedback
Understanding the context can help defuse the emotional charge.
3. Understand the Intention Behind the Voice
Ask yourself: What might this voice be trying to protect me from?
For example:
“Maybe your imposter thoughts are trying to keep you sharp.”
“Maybe they’re trying to shield you from potential embarrassment or failure.”
Then gently remind yourself of common humanity. Use your own words, but that might look something like this:
“You’re not alone in this. Most people experience these thoughts. People all over the world are also experiencing growing pains and self-doubt at this very moment. You’re human—and that’s okay.”
4. Invite Compassion In
Now, imagine someone who is endlessly kind and accepting—real or fictional—reading the first part of your letter. What might they say to you?
Write a response from their perspective. Maybe it’s something like:
“Of course you feel nervous. This is new and important to you. You’re going to figure this out.”
Sign the letter, read it back to yourself slowly, and keep it somewhere you can return to when needed.
Why This Matters
You may not be able to fully silence your inner critic, but you can change your relationship to it. When you treat yourself with compassion and curiosity instead of judgment, you give yourself the freedom to move forward despite fear and self-doubt.
Imposter Syndrome doesn’t mean you’re inadequate, it means you’re human. And you don’t have to go through it alone.
Need support working through imposter feelings or self-doubt?
Dr. Devon Redmond, licensed psychologist, specializes in helping individuals build confidence, develop self-compassion, and pursue meaningful goals.
📅 Schedule an appointment today or contact us to learn more.
